My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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