i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
