Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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