So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
