ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
You were trust falling into bushes
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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