My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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