I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
