I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
