i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
