I puked a lego.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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