I have demons in me.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Randomize
