scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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