Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
