Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
