This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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