I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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