I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
