You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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