Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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