just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
ok first of all what the fuck
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
