Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
