I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
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The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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