I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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