OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
