so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
