My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
