Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
that's an acceptable place to lick
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
This baby is an asshole
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
