Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I said "one day" and that day is not today