I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.