how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar