I hate your face
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.