I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Randomize
