Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
