She's JV to your varsity
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
