New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Randomize
