we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Shitshow foam night was such a success
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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