So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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