You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
