He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
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