I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
