why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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