Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
do nipples grow back?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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