Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
