well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
