Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
