its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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