The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Having a random hookup so left but love u
he was CRYING into my vagina
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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