Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
