i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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