dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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