waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
