What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
