They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Can I color on your dick again?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
