I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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