He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
