pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
