I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
