I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
