You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
