Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
