I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
