we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
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