Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
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These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
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I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize